I went to my first confession last night. Yes the "Bless me Father, for I have sinned" kind. I realize that many of my Protestant friends and family could be unsure or morally question this practice. Let me just say this: we can all acknowledge that God has given us tools here on Earth to allow us to experience and know Him in deeper ways. For example, marriage is one of these tools. The institution of marriage is constantly requiring that you put your spouse's needs above your own. A Sacramental marriage requires that there be 3 members in the marriage; you, your spouse, and Christ. These stipulations, if followed sincerely, can only lead to a deeper love and understanding of Christ which allows you to better love your spouse. These kinds of tools are recognized by the Catholic Church as Sacraments, and defined as an "efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which divine life is dispensed to us." There are 7 of these recognized by the Church
- Baptism (Christening)
- Confirmation (Chrismation)
- Holy Eucharist
- Penance (Confession)
- Anointing of the Sick (known prior to the Second Vatican Council as Extreme Unction (or more literally from Latin: Last Anointing), then seen as part of the "Last Rites")
- Holy Orders
- Matrimony (Marriage)
From this list, I have personally received the Sacraments of Baptism, Penance, and Matrimony, and in a few weeks I will receive Confirmation and Holy Eucharist for the first time. I have experienced Christ in such different ways through each Sacrament, and I am so blessed to feel like I am learning new things about God and my relationship with Him.
Let me just clarify; I did not pay the priest for an indulgence, nor did he personally "forgive" my sins. I didn't sin against him in the first place, so how could he? He listened to me, he prayed with and for me, and as the mouthpiece of God he reminded me that I was forgiven and gave me some advice on how to overcome the sin in my life. I know Protestants have accountability groups and other ways that they deal with struggles and sins, and that is great. I have to admit though, having done both, I can't describe in words the difference. There is something about humbling yourself (and yes, it's embarrassing) and telling a priest your sins; in my mind it paralleled the shame that we should feel when we sin against God and how dirty it should make us feel. I say "should" because I had this mindset as a Protetsant to sin, automatically ask forgiveness, forget about it, and go my merry way. I thought that because God forgave me and forgot my sins, I had the same right. But how can we truly experience the relief and grace of His forgiveness if we don't fully acknowledge the depravity of our sins? Every time we sin, it is like driving a nail into a piece of fine furniture. We can ask for forgiveness and take the nail out, and we will be forgiven. However, there is still a giant hole in the furniture. What to do? If we recognize our sins here on earth and have taken the steps to deal with them by confessing and sinning no more, God can begin to repair that hole by His restorative grace. It is hard to understand because most of us don't see the earthly consequences of our sins. We may never know the result of our gossiping or lying, but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences in our souls. When God grants us his forgiveness, he also begins the longer process of fixing the hole and healing the damage we have done to ourselves or others by sinning by prompting us to change personal habits or to repair relationships. This healing process could take years though, and since we do continue to sin until our dying day, what happens when we die and have sinned and God hasn't had time to "repair the damage?" This my friends, is the point of Purgatory. Purgatory isn't a dingy little waiting room where we sit 5 years for every sin we ever committed. It is a state of being; it is the place/time when we are made new and perfect and worthy to enter the presence of God for eternity. It is His final extension of grace to our sinful hearts. And for this kind of grace I am so grateful. I would be nothing without it. Amen.
