Doctors say that the human brain isn't done fully developing until age 25. I have to fully agree, as my life is proof of that. I am now closer to 26 than 25, ( did I really just admit that?!) but reaching my quarter century mark has truly been the year of the "fog" lifting. My husband and I crammed SOOOO many major life events in before I reached the age of 25, and it wasn't until many of them had already taken place that I felt myself starting to truly "grow up." Here are a few examples: I'm tired just reading them!
1) Michael started Medical school when I was 19 years old and he was 22. Gosh, we were babies! He moved up to the big city to start school, and I moved up the big city and got an apartment with my brother, so I could be close to my sweetie and start my "big girl" life. Yeah right, 19 year old Tavi.
2) During this time, I was fiddle-farting around in college, knocked back an Associates Degree in Graphic Design in a years time, and was working retail.
3) ) I got a great job at a bank where I learned so much about banking. And life. And made some amazing friends.
4) I was in a pretty bad car wreck weeks before our wedding. Escaped with a totaled car and a seat belt burn that would be pretty obvious in my wedding dress. It faded quickly, thank goodness! Learned a great lesson about mortality.
5) We got married when I was 21 and he was 24.
6) While Michael was in school, I was trying to force myself to finish college and get my Bachelor's degree. Any degree. However, since I was paying for everything myself, I saw firsthand what a waste of money and time it was to be taking classes aimlessly with no passion or goal. I had not yet answered the question "What do I want to be when I grow up?" and I learned that being passionate about your goals in life is an important part of helping you achieve your goals. I waited 4 more year for that goal to take root.
7) Michael and I bought our first home together during this same time.
8) I learned never to buy my husband pistachios for Valentine's Day. (One of our first big fights. Don't ask)
9) We had our first son when I was 23 and he was 26 (almost).
10) Michael graduated Medical School 3 months later.
11) Michael began his residency.
12) We had our second son when I was 24 and Michael was 27.
13) Soon after this, we began our journey with Natural Family Planning. Little did I know at the time how much this would change my life.
14) I got my first "mom" car. Subaru Outback. I learned this is probably the coolest I will ever look driving a car, as we plan to have more children, and the cars just get uglier from here on out.
15) The stress quickly set in. Being a stay at home mom with 2 babies under 2, a husband in residency, being isolated from all the friends that I used to see every day at work, and learning a new method of birth control that I was thinking "may or may not work", caused some issues to surface. I started blogging. This was cathartic and helped me make sense of my crazy thoughts.
16) I joined the Catholic church at the age of 25, which I think is a beautiful way to symbolize me reaching my "adulthood".
17) Around this time, I had my first Confession. This allowed me to clearly see some "Demons" from my past that I had been suppressing for years that, although I never had thought of them being a huge deal, were preventing spiritual growth in me.
18) I began toying with the idea of teaching The Billings Ovulation Method. It had been such an awesome tool that taught me the beauty of living my Catholic faith, and it had opened up avenues of communication and growth in my marriage that I never would have thought possible.
19) I began to deal with those previously mentioned "Demons" from my past. I had a wonderful family and childhood, but something I hope to teach my children is to ALWAYS speak their mind. If something is bothering them, it is so much better to just talk about it then, rather than letting something little fester, then turn into something big 10 years later. Word. I am a firm proponent of doing whatever it takes to establish more meaningful communication and relationships. Counseling or therapy? Awesome tools.
20) I began to foster adult friendships. I had buried my head in the sand with work and school and past issues for so long, I was not a very fun person to be around. For the first time, I felt like I could move past that and bask in the beauty of the life God had called me to live.
21) I have learned that marriage isn't really about sex at all. We live in a culture that sells such a cheap version of the intimacy that God designed for married couples. Even growing up in a Christian home, I had alot of learning and sorting out to do when I got married. Children need their parents to talk about sex with them. You don't have to be the biology teacher, but inform them of its purpose in the Christian married life. Introduce your teenage daughters to NFP before they start feeling the pressure from friends to start The Pill. If they are brought up in an environment where they are taught to respect sex and their bodies in a very specific and church supported way, I would have to guess they would be far less likely to experiment on their own (which can and most of the time always does have either physical or emotional side effects. Don't just assume your children won't "stray" because they grew up in a Christian home. If they haven't been told, really TOLD the truth about things, then of course they are going to go out looking for it in the wrong places.
22) I am becoming the chef of our household. Finally. It started off rocky (salty ziti, Michael?) , but I impress myself (and sometimes my husband) with my culinary skills on a regular basis.
23) Because of the nature of my husband's job (i.e. him being gone a lot), I have had to learn to caulk a bath tub. Handy life skill, I'm sure.
24) I have learned that taking time to purposely "pamper" your marriage isn't an option. Michael and I are taking our first trip (albeit a very short one) together in a few weeks. First get away since the honeymoon, 4 years ago. With this long list of stuff we crammed into our young lives, wouldn't you agree we are due for a little vacay?
25) I have discovered my purpose. At least for now. I am a Catholic first and foremost, and hope to be able to openly share my faith with any and all. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a woman who has overcome emotional and spiritual obstacles. I am a friend. I am going to train to become a Billings Instructor in September. I am going to face my future without fear and embrace the new challenges that life brings. But as for dealing with the next 25 years, I feel like, finally, my foundation is built on the rock, and I will not be moved.
