I'm on my second cup of coffee this morning. This doesn't sound too extreme, but I have quickly morphed from a non-coffee drinker to a 2 cup-a day-drinker. Next week I may as well just add cream and sugar to the pot and drop a straw in. I've got 3 kids in various stages of sickness, so I'm pretty much just a living, breathing Kleenex that happens to have arms and legs. That's lucky for them, too, because a Kleenex with arms is pretty good at cuddling and rocking them to sleep when they sound like a coughing, angry seal at night. This Kleenex is also really good at getting up with all 3 children at various points throughout the night in order to adjust Child 1's pillows, reassure Child 2 after a scary Darth Vader Dream, or to feed Child 3. Lucky for Child 3, this Kleenex also happens to have mammary glands. Child 3 also happens to have RSV just shy of being 4 months old, which is pretty rough to watch, so if you read this and are a praying person, shoot some our way, please!
I know I write about this every year around this time, but we certainly have the winter blues big time, and blogging is my coping mechanism. Bear with me. As silly as it sounds, I have determined that God uses the wasteland of Winter to annually remind me of how hopeless I am if I am not daily trading my sorrows for his grace, and the sorrows certainly make themselves abundantly known when you are stuck inside a small box with small children all winter.
I am reminded that I am not only able, but also instructed to choose Joy in all circumstances as a Christian. I am also reminded that I have such a long way to go in this department, because every year at this time I find myself despairing, complaining, and being a somewhat miserable human being. About halfway through the Winter Season, I discover that I am making things much worse by being miserable, and I throw myself upon the grace of Christ, mere minutes before checking myself into therapy. Why do I wait so long? Why don't I think to do this in the first place? He has time and time again rescued me from the war inside my head, and restored the seemingly wasted days. I can only ask for forgiveness for not trusting Him, and move on. But when am I going to LEARN? For real, tho.
So, how am I going to choose to live abundantly in the midst of chaos this year?
Here is my list:
1) When I open my cupboards and assorted items fall on my head because they are so tiny and crammed WAY too full, I will choose to laugh instead of cry and/or think an expletive.
2) When the knobs (yet again) break off the bathtub, and you have a pair of pliers permanently affixed to the little stubs in order to turn the bath on and off, I will not let that keep me awake at night. I mean, it kind of like camping, right?
3) When I have a 14 hour day ahead of me because the hubs often works long hours, and it's cold outside and the kids are sick so you can't even leave the house or have a friend over for fear of infecting them with toddler germs, I will go buy yarn and teach myself to crochet, dangit, instead of losing my ever loving mind, pulling out huge chunks of my own hair, and allowing my children to exist solely on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a week straight. Oh wait, it may be too late for that...I am learning to crochet though.
Tiny house moms unite! If you've never lived in a 1000 square foot or less home with multiple small children, you'll just never quite understand this special pain. Nap time doesn't exist. Not because your kids aren't crazy tired, but because every slight noise is amplified in such a tiny space, and a sneeze from the living room travels to the bedroom and wakes said children up. Actually, they wake each other up because they try to play instead of sleep. I've often wondered if my life is some kind of special purgatory reserved only for stay at home moms....I do love my kids to the moon and back. I just want to hide from them sometimes.
I tried putting them in separate rooms- One in the nursery, one in my room, and one in the office in a pack and play. That's all the rooms, folks. They can pretty much still talk to each other through the walls, so there goes that idea.
I encourage myself when I go to switch the laundry from the washer to the dryers that next year, I won't have to do laundry in a 20 degree garage, finally, after 6 years! I imagine a world in which all the floor vents are functional and all the rooms in my house are the same temperature. It's a glorious world!
I imagine a paradise in which we live so close to my husband's place of employment that when he calls and tell me he is on his way home after a grueling day, it's not another hour and a half until he actually reaches our house.
So all that to say, that I'm caffeinated and I'm choosing not to complain today. You should try it too. We'll see how that goes tomorrow.
Tavi
