It's one of those days. Ok, maybe one of those weeks. Erm. Months.
It was 3 degrees yesterday morning. My kids have been watching way too much TV. I'm running out of ideas on how to be a creative mommy. We go on drives around the block and to the drive-through at McDonald's so that we can at least say we have ventured out of the house at least a couple times in a week. You think I'm kidding. I'm not. Winter kills me in this way. You try being locked in a 1,000 square foot box with a 1 and 2 year old from November to March. Just kidding, don't try it.
I find myself in a similar situation to one I was in last year about this time. We suffer from weather-related plumbing hiccups at our house, and every year, for some reason our clothes washer and dishwasher decide to get a little bit silly on us in the winter months. One stops working completely and the other works, but not without pouring lots of water all over my garage floor. Which is quite nasty when it's 3 degrees outside, but, unfortunately the need for clean underwear is great in this house, and it seems at least one of these problems can't be solved without just outright replacing all the old plumbing pipes in our house. Not happening.
Last year, these hiccups would have been enough to send me into an anxiety attack and perhaps to therapy. I really was that tightly wound with the stresses of life last year, and I needed so badly for things to be perfect. Ha ha! God has a funny way of reminding us what it is we really need.
This year, God is reminding me of the very real changes He has made in my life by letting me at least joke about these goings-on, and I'm actually learning how to be happy in this chaos, even if I am still a little grossed out by it. Last year, it was an accomplishment just to make it through the winter without going crazy and giving in to the temptation to complain about everything and throw a pity party for myself. What a lot of effort it takes to complain, and my energy was spent in all the wrong places. This year, I'm not grossed out quite so much by the grime on my kitchen floor, and I am actually OK with hand washing ridiculous amounts of dishes by hand everyday, although it does keep me so busy that I can't keep up with the laundry. Despite all of these things, I am being met with more and more opportunities to meet amazing people through local churches and through my NFP Ministry. So if the trade-off for meeting new brothers and sisters in Christ and growing alongside them is to have a grimy house, then may I forever have a grimy house. Amen.
It's amazing how God can freely work when you take just a little bit of that energy that you had used for complaining, and choose to allow Him to use it for His good. It makes me smile, because it seems like such a simple concept, yet it takes many people a lifetime to learn. Including me; I'm still learning.
I can't think of a poignant life altering lesson to share with you as a result of all of this. It's good to feel like I have an option to not complain about the bumps in the road, when before that would have been my one and only option. That in itself it making me a happier person, as simple as it sounds. It's interesting to think that maybe God is teaching me how to be happy in a chaotic environment because that is where I truly thrive. What does this mean? Lots more kids? Crazier hours for my husband to take at work? Who knows what the future will bring, but I guess I'm ready for it. It doesn't really matter because I'm not steering the ship, but I trust the One who is.
Oh, and that old saying that "Cleanliness is next to Godliness"?
It's an outright lie.
I'm going to go now, and snap my fingers like Mary Poppins and take care of this mess once and for all. That really works, right?
Tavi
