Lunch!

My husband made this for lunch today and it was fabulous- be jealous ladies. I think he used vegetable stock instead of water, and we used Kale for the greens- I highly suggest you try this tonight!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/health/nutrition/26recipehealth.html?ref=lentils&_r=0

I joined a Co-op and other interesting tidbits from my day

We signed up for a co- op yesterday. I suggest every one do that.
1) Since you buy the big box of produce, you feel obligated to eat it, whereas if it's up to me I may buzz through the grocery store, grab apples and bananas for the week and call it good. 2) it gives you a variety of locally grown, organic produce, and you may end up actually trying things you never have before (gasp) because it's in season. 3) you spend that money anyway, why not spend it supporting local farmers? So while I am not doing this to lose weight (breast feeding is taking care of that for me, thank you very much), I am going to keep track of the healthy side effects of this "eating more fruits and veggies" phase and I promise to share my results with you. My husband might even become one of my scientific experiments (Shhh)

Here is the link to our co-op if you are interested:
http://urbanorganicsok.com/produce

Now don't be intimidated by this new, über healthy me- I am writing this as I finish a quarter pounder from McDonalds. But like many new habits, they begin with baby steps. So if that quarter pounder happens to motivate me to eat a pound of bok choy tonight, then I am still better off for it. Eventually I will have so many fruits and veggies in my tummy, I won't have any room for anything else, right?

In other news, baby #2 has learned to roll over and I expect he will be crawling shortly. I try not to think about how it will be to have 2 mobile children under the age of 2.

Baby #1 is successfully sleeping in a toddler bed at night and surprisingly that wasn't really a difficult transition- for him anyway. Mom and dad cry almost every night because it's hard to see babies grow up so fast.

Finally, after working a 12 hour day +being on call overnight my husband will be on vacation as of Friday morning. Wonder what kind of shenanigans we will get ourselves into? Can't wait to find out.

Tea, Scones, and Sola Scriptura

Sola Scriptura: the doctrine that states that the Scriptures contain all knowledge necessary for salvation and holiness. What do I think about this?

Yes, the Bible DOES tell us the way to salvation. "For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not of yourself; it is a gift of God so that no man may boast." Ephesians 2:8-9. But it doesn't take a whole book to explain that simple concept.

Yes, the Bible does provide guidelines for us to live a holy, Christian life. It may take a whole book to begin to explain how to do this because there are so many variables.

But is that all there is?

I don't think so.

Why is the bible study business booming? According to Sola Scriptura, we shouldn't need those, right? They cause us to contemplate issues that may pertain to our modern daily lives. They may deal with issues grounded in scriptures, but they are not Scripture, so by this standard we can't use tools or conversations to help us understand Biblical subjects or enrich our lives. It is up to us, the reader to interpret what the Bible is telling us and stick to it.

Um, why would we want all that pressure? I don't.

It bothers me when I hear people bashing the Catholic Church over issues that they are not fully informed about. No, the Catholic Church is not Sola Scriptura. Does the Catholic Church have some secret scroll hidden deep in the Vatican that states that there is actually a different way to obtain salvation other than by simply accepting the grace of God? Nope.

So what does this mean?

Perhaps Salvation doesn't occur simply in that one moment that we first chose to accept God's grace and forgiveness. Maybe it happens on a daily basis because, believe it or not, we sin daily and God extends his grace to us daily if we choose to accept it. So if this is the case, it looks like "asking Jesus into your heart" (I uses that term somewhat flippantly because it is such an inaccurate portrayal of how God's grace is a constant renewal to our spirits) may not be all there is to it.

Lamentations 3:22-23

²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

We know that faith and works go hand in hand:

James 2:26

²⁶ For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

If you truly have faith and are allowing Christ to live through you, that will be obvious in your works. If that isn't obvious through your works then it's time to do some soul searching. And if you are out feeding the poor everyday but not allowing God to do His work in your life, again, time for some serious re-evaluation.

So if you can't have faith without works, doesn't it stand to reason that obtaining Salvation is a two part process? The first and most important step is that you must accept the grace of God. But after we do that, we MUST do His works. So in order to be an effective, holy Christian we need BOTH. They are not mutually exclusive, they go hand in hand. So if you accept the grace of God but you are not constantly applying that to situations in your life by being the hands and feet of Christ on Earth, you may or may not be truly saved (that is only for God to say), but you will certainly not be living the fullness of Christ's redemption here on earth.  I would argue that the full definition of salvation is not simply being saved from eternity in Hell, but is   a combination of that AND the ability to live powerful, full, Christ centered lives here on earth. So because I don't want to settle for the basics, I suppose I can't follow the doctrine of Sola Scriptura either.
 I do believe every word in the Bible is true and squarely plants us on the path to salvation and holiness. 

2 Timothy 3:16-17

¹⁶ All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching,rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷ so that the servant of God^[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

But why would we reject so many years of tradition passed down through the Catholic church? These oral traditions may not appear in Scripture, but they were passed down from the apostles, those whom Jesus trusted to spread His message of hope after His ascension. So why wouldn't we listen to the wisdom of those who walked and talked with Jesus? They don't provide an alternate route to salvation, they only provide bits of encouragement and enrich our lives on the journey.  Paul did write to Timothy that the church is the pillar of truth, so why would we not accept all the beautiful things that have been passed down through it just because they don't appear in the Bible?

I Timothy 3:14-15

 Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that,  if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. 

Notice he said the church was the pillar of truth, and he called Scripture a "useful tool."

If God didn't trust the Church to really carry out His plans on earth, then why on earth did He leave? 

Food for thought.

Fall! Oh, Me!

I have never invested in so much pumpkin purée in my life as I have this Fall. And it's only October 15. This is what I made last night.


Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Cookies

http://kirbiecravings.com/2011/10/pumpkin-chocolate-chip-cookies-3.html

Enjoy!

Oh, and like all things pumpkin, these become exponentially tastier as the days go by. They are like little puffy pumpkin clouds that taste better the day AFTER you make them. And the day after that, if they last that long.

Purgatory Anyone?

Sooo...

It's a pretty interesting feeling when you realize that the education that you received in private Christian school provided you with an oh-so biased and extremely narrow view of Christianity. Am I the only one that had World History classes portraying Catholics as the scary bad guys? Yes, there were scary bad Catholics. Obviously taking advantage of people's fear of hell in order to make a buck is bad. Very bad. So is going to funerals of American soldier's and protesting in the name of God. Very bad. This is the unfortunate truth about humanity. We are an imperfect reflection of Christ. The works that God does through us may be used to bring about His perfect will, but people will always see the stupid human things that we do that distract from that. Like being arrogant, judgmental and unforgiving. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that before the Protestant Reformation in 1517, there was only one Christian church. The Catholic Church. Which was simply a continuation of the body of believers instituted by Christ and his teachings. How many of you know what "Catholic" means? The word means "universal". Which pretty much summed up what the Christian church was at that time. United. Universal.
Although instituted by God, the church was being run by humans and for humans, and it was inevitable that at some point between the death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus and the Protestant Reformation, someone would do something dumb and human to mar the reputation of the church. (Like trying to sell indulgences and the 94 other things that Martin Luther referenced in his Theses) The church ultimately should be the spotless Bride of Christ, the hands and feet of Christ on Earth. And it is these things. But it is also made up of people that try to sell indulgences. So began the fragmentation of the Church. And it hasn't stopped. I'm pretty sure there is a new denomination every time I inhale.

  I am a prime example of the fact that faith begins in the home. Because of the faith foundation that my parents provided me with, I was able to cling to Christ (who truly is enough) through some very confusing and unsure times. Times of learning and spiritual growth. I intend to make faith a foundational principal for my family in my home; doing that is the greatest gift I can give to my children (besides the whole giving birth to them thing)
I am not rejecting or even changing any of the beliefs that I held when I was attended a Baptist church. Although I have to admit that at the time that I attended that church I had not yet begun to consider the theological questions that I am now, so I didn't necessarily strongly adhere to its specific theological standards and was living on the "fumes" or "basics" of Christianity. Now that I am starting the journey to join the Catholic church, I am simply adding bricks to the foundation that was given to me so many years ago, not knocking it over and starting from scratch. Concepts like purgatory, confession, the honoring of Mary, and baptism aren't just now controversial. They have been debated and re-debated since the beginning of the church. I don't feel like writing a novel, so I'm not going to attempt to tackle any of those at this time, but as I study them more closely in coming weeks I may delve more deeply into them one at a time. Maybe.

   There are many churches out there that provide excellent foundations for the Christian faith. But do we really want to just settle for a foundation, or do we want to build the whole house? Hmm. Words to Ponder.  (Hee hee...inside joke that some of you will get) I am starting to realize that being an effective Christian requires you to do your history homework. Realizing the history of the church and understanding how the Catholic church can trace its traditions back to the apostles themselves is a very useful brick when building the aforementioned house.

  I have to admit there is something just awe inspiring about kneeling and praying in an old church. Looking at the artifacts, stained glass windows. It makes you feel like you have somehow slipped back in time. And in a way that it what you are doing. You are feeling the spiritual connection between you and your spiritual brothers and sisters of the past. It is comforting to observe that while so much has changed in the church in the last 2000 years, the teachings are the same. It's just so cool to feel like you have an actual historical connection to the church of the past. That is definitely something I never experienced in churches made to resemble a school gym. You know what I'm talking about. Hey, a building is a building, I know. The real church is the people that comprise it. However, I for one feel that it adds to the sacredness of the Sabbath when you feel like you are entering a special place; a place not like any other. A place full of history and beauty that we can pass on to future generations.

So I guess that is my rant for the day. Hope I didn't make too many people mad.
Toodles.

Dinner Tonight

Because this ah-mazing drizzly weather makes me want soup.


Taco Soup

1 lb ground turkey or 1 lb lean ground beef
1 large onion, chopped
1 (1 ounce) package hidden valley ranch dressing mix
1 (1 ounce) package taco seasoning mix
1 (16 ounce) can pinto beans
1 (16 ounce) can chili beans (hot or regular)
1 (16 ounce) can whole kernel corn
1 (8 ounce) can diced Mexican-style tomatoes
1 (8 ounce) can diced tomatoes (any flavor)

Directions:

1
Brown meat and onions and drain.
2
Mix ranch dressing and taco seasoning into meat.
3
Without draining, add all of the other ingredients.
4
Simmer 1 hour.

Hibernation

Today I feel as if I have awoken from a month long hibernation. No, not because it was winter, but because I was suffering from something much more cold and dark; Adult Life. As my husband (lovingly?) pointed out, I have a tendency to just "check out" when we are dealing with a particularly long stretch of unpleasantness (there are examples of this in my previous blog). When I am on top of my game, it's not unheard of for my house to be clean, dinner on the table, beds made, children bathed...yes, ALL in the same day! So I know I have the capacity to be super mom. However, if one thing throws a kink in my schedule ( like if my husband is MIA for a month straight due to work and eats and sleeps at random hours) then I can't seem to focus and/or muster the strenghth for anything more than just hanging on for dear life while insanity grabs the reigns. During this time my children remain safe, happy, and fed so I suppose I can add bonus points for that, right? For some odd reason, being a good home-maker is all or nothing for me. It's super mom or bust. WHY?
I don't mind working myself silly to have a clean house (not to mention clean undies) ready for my husband to come home to, but if I know he isn't coming home that day or have a really hard parenting day and I know I get to deal with all those poopy diapers and tantrums solo, for some reason my brain tells me that it's better just to lay on the couch and watch The Chew ( which has fabulous recipes that I sometimes utilize when life is going just peachy and I feel like cooking. Ok, I have used one recipie) rather than clean up just one of the many messes in my house. If I don't have energy to take care of it all I will take care of nothing. Does any one else have this problem?

Yesterday we took family pictures. We had yet to get pictures of Elliot (yes, he is almost 5 months old...second kid syndrome) and we needed new pictures of all of us. Can you say exhausting? My husband almost lost his mind and temper multiple times while Henry rolled around in the mud because we were taking artsy shots in the middle of a field...Then we had to pretend to be happy and sane for the pictures. Haa! Our photographer was oh-so patient though and I can't wait to see the pictures which I'm sure will be fabulous.

Yet again Oswald Chambers hit the nail on the head and I feel obligated to share:

"We have all experienced times of exaltation on the mountain, when we have seen things from God's perspective and have wanted to stay there. But God will never allow us to stay there. The true test of our spiritual life is in exhibiting the power to descend from the mountain. It is a wonderful thing to be on the mountain with God, but a person only gets there so that he may later go down and lift up the people in the valley."

Guilt & Gluten Free Communion

Let me see- I could write a book about the stressful things that have occurred to me in the past week. Nobody likes a complainer so I will keep it short and sweet. Raw sewage in my kitchen sink. Husband worked 4 -12 hour shifts in a row. A sick child. Both babies had to get shots on the same day, making them feverish and grumpy at the same time. Blah blah blah. However, this time, from the get-go I told God that I acknowledged that He was trying to teach me something and would He please go ahead and do just that because I was ready to learn and get back to a more comfortable spot. What I witnessed was the love of Christ shown to me through my family- my mother in law as always rushed to my aide on a particularly stressful day, and my parents as always did the same on another day (there were plenty of days to choose from this past week). The feeling that I received from accepting the graciousness of others was indescribably wonderful, and therein was my lesson. I really need to concentrate on making an effort to be gracious and helpful to those around me- it is easy to walk around in an oblivious haze, but if we stop and pay attention there are so many simple ways that we can be a living, breathing blessing to others. And it's not that hard. The very day that I had all the above-mentioned horrible things happen to me, I had a man come to my door asking for donations for a local drug rehab center/church. He has come by before and I had shrugged him off, but on that day I felt like God was saying- "I put this opportunity in your lap; take advantage of it." So I made a donation and hopefully that donation will make someone feel as blessed as I did that day when I received help from my family. As I mentioned previously, I am in the process of joining the Catholic Church, and I am taking 6 months or so of classes in order to do this ( it's less impressive than it sounds) I learned tonight that they now make gluten free hosts (communion wafers) and this caused me to chortle. (Thats not all I learned) I also began to think about how we as Christians are really living, breathing communion to those around us. Romans 12:1 says 

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spirituala act of worship

In essence, how we live our lives as Christians could be someone's only view of Christ. We have been commissioned to be His hands and feet on earth. It is our job to seek out ways to practically do that. When we accept God's grace (whether it be through communion on Sunday, or prayer, or any other way) we are saying to God that despite our imperfections, we recieve His gift of grace and the sacrifice that He made for us. He gives us His body and blood in order that we allow Him to use our bodies and talents for His glory here on earth.

Fear and Laundry in OKC

We have all had that laundry nemesis- that particular basket of clean laundry that begs to be folded and put away and you turn around 2 weeks later and it's still in your bedroom giving you the evil eye. Then you finally realize that you can't do another load of laundry until you put away the old load. So why on earth am I doing so much online shopping lately? Trying to rebuild my wardrobe after having my first child was a task I had barely begun before I became pregnant with my second child (Yes, they are 15 months apart...yes, I am a very tired woman, thanks for asking). Besides stretchy maternity pants (which I love and feel should be a socially acceptable staple item in any woman's wardrobe, pregnant or not), I have not been sporting many new clothes lately. My sister and I were just discussing this the other day. We used to be stylish people; now we are definitely candidates for "What Not to Wear". My husband and I went into a trendy hipster store yesterday and lo and behold when I observed all the cute, skinny, stylish employees I had never felt so frumpy and tired. When did this happen? You mean we can't wear the same kind of clothes that we did our senior year of high school and look good in them? I suppose this concept of re-invention can be applied to so many aspects of our lives. Life is God's ultimate tool because it pushes us along, and causes us to grow and change on a daily basis- this in turn allows us to discover Christ in new ways throughout our lives. The God that we were introduced to as children is the same God today. But if we have ever allowed Him to take the reigns in our lives, He probably looks like a very different version of Himself. So whether it is the laundry monster, 3 days in a row of solo watching two precious but very demanding kiddies while the hubs works gross hours at the hospital, confronting your sadly ill-fitting and out of date wardrobe, or confronting a deep-seeded spiritual hurdle-- don't fear! Thankfully it is never too late to start a new journey, and you will probably discover that the change that you once feared is exactly the catalyst needed to push you into life's next chapter.
On a totally unrelated note, my oldest son dumped an entire canister of oats on my living room floor this morning. Yep.

My Prayer

May our faith never become simply an obligation, but rather a passion; a mission; a driving force. May our words be fortified by our actions, and may our actions be holy. May the reflection of God in our lives not be dictated by our limited understanding of his greatness, but rather through the revelation of His grace and guidance in and through our lives. May we never cease to seek Him although we will continue to fall short of His glory until we join Him in eternity. Praise be to the One who grants us second, third, and thousands of chances. Thanks be to the One who doesn't ask us to be perfect, but simply demands that we admit that we will never be perfect and accept His grace. 

May our thoughts be those of righteousness and thankfulness. May we always realize that no matter how blessed the earthly lives we lead, they are only "training" for our lives with Christ in eternity. Possessions do not own us; we own them, and we do not award them more merit than is deserved for they will always be secondary to the work God longs to accomplish in our lives. We must be careful to nurture each relationship that we are a part of- it is our duty and calling to be a living example of Christ to everyone that we come into contact with. May we give our children the tools needed to begin to build a strong foundation in Christ's love, and may Christ intervene where we are not able so that our children are safe when we cannot protect them, loved where we cannot demonstrate our love to them, and comforted when we cannot comfort them. May we always understand what precious gifts children are, and never take for granted the time that we are given with them. May Christ always be the foundation of our families, and may our foundation become stronger with the passing years.

Beauty in Chaos

I am currently in a very zen state right now. My oldest son is in his crib screaming at the TOP of his lungs like a pterodactyl and my youngest is trying to sleep at the other end of the house (granted, I have a very small house) but every time he hears this screeching he erupts into a tirade of tears. Which is what I feel like doing at the moment. Or banging my head against the wall. Which would probably lead to tears so I guess I'll save myself some pain and just cry. I am trying hard to glean some glimmer of wisdom from this situation; how can I look at this from a heavenly perspective? *Eye twitch*....still lots of crying..
This too shall pass.
I know this insanity won't last forever.
This is how I should be looking at my life. The hard parts don't last forever, and they teach us things that greatly enrich our lives. However, the easy parts don't last forever either. Heck, life in general doesn't last forever (I'm speaking about the physical, here on earth part of life) I have been made so much more aware of the passing of time since the birth of my second child. I am turning 25 this year. My husband is quickly reaching the end of his medical training and we will be sent out into the world as the next generation of young professional adults with children. All of these landmark events seemed so long in coming and now life is simply flying by leaving me to wonder if I was awake for half of it. So good, bad, or ugly ( yes, I was watching the Clint Eastwood marathon on AMC yesterday), life is simply marching on and what we learn from it and do with our time is up to us. I have learned that the difficult parts of life are not necessarily bad, and the easy parts of life are not necessarily good. Emotions, circumstances, loss, and gain- we are in a constant state of fluctuation  which can definitely feel like chaos. The beauty in this chaos is Christ, and the ways in which He is constantly transforming our lives if we allow Him to, which in turn spreads his peace to those around us. And I finish this blog to the sounds of silence. That didn't take long. :)

A Modern Day Conversion

Let me outline my colorful religious past for you- the first church I remember attending was a Messianic Jewish Synagogue. My family moved on from there to various other churches and I can't precisely remember all of them, but we ended up in a Southern Baptist church where I remained until my late teens. However from the age of 5 until the age of 16, I concurrently attended a non-denominational/Pentecostal school in which I was an observer of prophecy, speaking in tongues, being slain in the spirit....you know the type. And if you don't, please do not feel that you are being left out of some great mystery- I pretty much had a panic attack daily because of these spiritual manifestations being forced into my life. Long story short, I married a Catholic and have been attending a Catholic church for the past 5 years or so. Needless to say, the focus of my faith has always been on my relationship with Christ and not necessarily the church that I was attending at the time or the "brand" of Christianity that was being taught at the time; that would be WAY too confusing to mish-mash all the specifics of each group into one new and homemade faith (although I'm pretty sure that is how many of the churches we see today probably got their start) I attended RCIA ( Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults- "Catholic Class" for those of you who are not aware of it) when my husband and I became engaged, but I did not convert to Catholicism at the time because my faith has always been too precious to me to just join a new faith community simply because I was marrying into it. But through the years, I have realized that being in such an uncomfortable and unfamiliar environment has caused me to continually re-evaluate my faith and my relationship with Christ. I have come to love and appreciate many of the Catholic traditions and I find myself wanting to commit. Finally. I realize that if I just let go of my uncertainties, God can bring me to a more fulfilled relationship with Him if I just take the first step. Some may question this decision and are more than entitled to, but what I know is this. Being in this Catholic community has caused me to grow in ways that were never even on my radar before. I find myself longing for the presence of God so much more than I ever have. My husband and I are taking steps to grow our relationship in Christ and introduce Him to our children. This is where I need to be. I have followed Jesus long enough to recognize his voice, and this is it. For me, for my family, for the glorification of Christ to the world. I'm doing it folks. I'm becoming Catholic. Stay Tuned.

To judge, or not to judge?

I caught myself in a humbling situation this weekend. I was listening in on a conversation between my husband and a person that drives me CRAZY for many reasons. As this person continued to spew profanity after profanity from his mouth it made me more and more sick to even be around  him and I was content to sit and roll my eyes occasionally at my husband and simply observe what I perceive to be a minor train wreck in progress. At first meeting this person, I tried to see the humor in his immature ways and it was superficially amusing for awhile. Then I began to feel convicted that I should not be allowing the presence of this person in my home where my young children could pick up on some nasty habits, etc. When the evening was over I began fuming about the immorality of the situaton. " How dare this person even claim affiliation with the Christian faith when they are so obviously so off base, etc?" My husband then made the comment that perhaps the faith of this person, no matter how neglected I perceived it to be, could possibly be the only bit of stability he was holding on to. BOOM. Ok then. Where do we as Christians get off on judging others? I get it, we are human, and humans like to judge each other to make themselves feel better. But is this not the exact opposite of what we are called to do on this earth? I don't recall ever receiving power from God to be the all knowing judge of people's character, and thank goodness! I wouldn't want the responsibility of determining someone's eternal fate. I simply recall being commissioned to "go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature." Mark 16:15. That includes creatures that drive us crazy. And that doesn't necessarily mean to read scriptures at someone until you are blue in the face and hope something clicks in their heart. It means to present your faith to be THE effective truth in such a way that others will want it for themselves. And it means never giving up on someone  because of how they make you feel; God never gave up on me and there were plenty of times where I was giving the Christian faith a bad rep as well. Most of all, as Christians we have to stay humble, and keep people around us that will keep us humble. I am the worst about making a teeny spiritual step forward then becoming "Super Christian" and wanting to point out the faults and stagnancy of others. How horrible am I? What I am saying is that "we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23, but all of us who choose to accept His grace, no matter how many times we fall away and get distracted in our lives, will be saved. So get out there and quit pointing out the sins in others lives- they may already be aware of them. Just live your life the way you have been instructed to and God will do the rest.

I have been reading "My Upmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers, and today's reading went right along with my thought process so I wanted to share: " The Purpose of Prayer"

To say that "prayer changes things" is not as close to the truth as saying "Prayer changes me, and then I change things." God has established things so that prayer, on the basis of redemption, changes the way a person looks at things. Prayer is not a matter of changing things externally, but one of working miracles in a person's inner nature.

24 Hour Call

24 Hour Call. As the wife of a resident physician I am becoming more familiar with these large chunks of time in which our home is thrown into varying levels of chaos. I don't so much dread the extended absence of my husband, although I admit I do miss him a lot-I enjoy that we will forever be like teenagers because his job ensures that we connect through the day ( and sometimes night) through goofy texts and emails. It keeps the spark alive, what can I say? I do dread the concept itself, because from experience I have learned that bad things happen on these days, and I always seem to feel less than prepared to deal with them. The first time he had his 24 hour+ experience at work, I got so sick that I couldn't even drag myself out of bed, much less take care of a 2 month old and 17 month old. My super amazing mother came to my rescue that night which may or may have not been a ploy to spend more time with her grand babies? I think we all know the truth now, mom. :) Love you! The second time he was on 24 hour call, I lost water at my house. After few hours and a panicked phone call to my father, the water came back on. ( That may not sound like a huge deal to some people, but to a mother of two babies who require baths daily, the laundry slave, and being a human being in general who requires water to survive and had only had about a half a drink of water until the point of it being turned off (thank you, children! :)- this was a big deal. Oh, and it was around 115 degrees at the time. As I said, the water came back on and all is well. Most recently, both boys decided to wake up super early and steal the last minutes of mommy and daddy's sanity for the next couple of days. Yes, it takes a couple of days to recover from "The Chaos." So while my husband is sleepily performing procedures and I am stumbling around my already messy house trying to figure out what smells like # 2, I am wondering what might happen today. In the meantime I a enjoying a morning with my boys and craving some McDonald's French fries.

A Balancing Act

I suppose most people of faith understand that it is possible to know doctrine forward and backward and still not know Christ. I believe that a personal interaction and relationship with Christ takes precedence to knowing loads of doctrine any day. I get the feeling that this concept has been drilled into our heads due to previous generations of Christians dealing with this struggle, and they thought best to warn us of this.
What I wonder is this: is this mindset creating a whole new generation of Christians that have a very shallow understanding of the basics of their own personal faith because they are too focused on the "feel good" parts of Christianity?  I feel justified in saying this because I grew up as part of that group. I was raised attending Christian school, church, and was strongly encouraged in my faith by my loving family. But as everyone does, I reached a point where I needed a deeper understanding of Christ that could only be found through personal exploration. I was strongly encouraged by my fellow Christians to ask questions and put to the test the foundations of my faith as a means to obtaining a deeper understanding. Unfortunately I found out too late that once I started asking the questions, those that had encouraged me to ask them were not there with a solid Biblical means of answering them. This led to many years of confusion for me that, by the grace of God has brought me to a more thriving spiritual life than I feel I have ever had. But it took years. Years people.....probably like 10. Painful questioning, hard learned lessons, and all this from a gal who had been raised in a Christian environment. I can't imagine how hard the church is to navigate for those who aren't so familiar with its idiosyncrasies.
While doctrine should never take precedence to our personal relationship with Jesus, I believe it is still a very important tool of our Christian faith that provides us common ground with our fellow believers and should not be neglected. In order to live our faith, we have to understand how to do that in the first place, which is outlined where? Doctrine. I have seen too many people ( myself included) following someone else's version of the Gospel wholeheartedly without ever bothering to understand Christ's teachings for themselves. We must have a balance of both time tested and Biblical doctrine AND  personal testimony in order to effectively reach others for Christ and simply understand Him for ourselves.

Growing Pains

"Do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him." Hebrews 12:5

This verse grabbed my attention this morning- it is so easy to get discouraged when things aren't going smoothly in our lives; I would say that's a pretty natural reaction to stress. However, It is surprising the change in outlook that occurs when we begin to view our hardships through God's perspective. Of course this shift in perspectives won't happen overnight and probably won't ever be a complete transformation because if we allow it, God wants to continue to re-shape our outlooks for the rest of our lives- which means He will continue to present us with difficult situations through which we can learn to trust Him. I'm not saying I enjoy those times when I'm being tested, but I have come to recognize that those times are opportunities for me to grow in my faith. I liken it to the instance where the kids are both unhappily screaming in the backseat of the car and you suddenly realize you have been going 90 down the highway just to get home and hasten the end of that horrible, horrible noise. That is a very uncomfortable/painful experience for all involved, and your brain has some sort of chemical reaction that causes the biggest case of lead-foot you have ever experienced without you even realizing it. I think that the more that I grow in my faith the same is true for my spirit; when I am uncomfortable/growing my "spiritual lead foot" kicks in because I know I would rather just buckle down and take a nugget of wisdom from the whole experience rather than slowly suffer through it, complain the whole time, learn nothing, and possibly have to learn that painful lesson again.

The Problem With Complaining

Where do I start? I LOVE to complain, it's true and I'm not denying it. For some odd reason, I feel that silently (or not so silently) ruminating on my distresses will make me feel better about myself. Why do I need to feel better about myself, do you ask? Because I have been looking at myself through a microscope for so long that I have neglected to be the hands and feet of Christ that I have been called to be. This sounds so odd because I have two children under 2 and rarely have time to think about myself but what I am referring to is a deep-seeded habit that I think many of us have established and don't realize we are doing. I am referring to that incident or memory that we all have from our past that affected for better or worse our view of our faith. We have all attended the church that has treated us badly or encountered the "Christian" whose life is so obviously not bearing the fruit of a life surrendered to Christ that it is laughable. I'm sure not everyone allows these incidents to make them bitter, but many of us do, and I was no exception. It is one thing to learn from these experiences and move on, but to wake up 10 years later and realize I was still fighting the same battle was ridiculous. I finally just realized that I couldn't change what had happened in the past but I obviously wasn't growing from that experience anymore, so I needed to actively search for opportunities to allow God to begin a new journey for me. Having children has significantly accelerated this process because I didnt want them to learn their faith through my views of the past, but rather I wanted us as a family to begin learning new things together.
I give you this brief history just to say this: we all have things we need to work through, but when we spend so much time dwelling on those things instead of just surrendering them to Christ, we waste the time that we have been given to be an encouragement to others by looking at ourself under the "pity microscope" and we begin to stagnate. We need to realize the God doesn't bless us because we deserve it- He does it so that we can share what we have with others, and if we fail to do this (whether monetarily or with spiritual gifts) the excess which was meant to be a blessing to others will poison us when we keep it to ourselves.

Dear Children....

I am starting this blog as a record for myself of how being a mother continually re-shapes my views on, well, everything. This includes most importantly my faith and my attitude towards daily life, and I hope to express to my children someday how instrumental they were in bringing me back to life, just as I am responsible for giving them life.
   I am like many stay-at-home mothers; frazzled, burning the candle at both ends AND the middle. I have dealt with my share of loneliness, boredom, despair- yes, you know exactly what I am talking about. However, this is really just about me, wife and mom, and how I am learning to get back to basics and witness the movement of The Holy Spirit in everyday occurrences- there have been so many instances where I have a mom-trauma (example: I was scrambling eggs this morning and I look down to see my 18 month old happily playing with a paring knife) that I can choose to freak out, or I can choose to find a spiritual lesson in it. I have to say that this little exercise has caused me to really think in a more proactively Christian way, and I have my children to thank for providing me with plenty of opportunities daily in which to seek Christ's counsel. :) My lesson from the paring knife, in case you were wondering was 1) Don't put paring knives in that drawer anymore, and 2) Daily entrust your children and the safety of their hearts and bodies to Christ- there is no way we can always see what's going on or be there for every little incident, but God will be, and it is important for us to surrender that to Christ so we busy moms have one less thing on our plate to worry about, and also important so that we can teach our children that they will never truly be alone.
I have a crying baby in the next room, so until next time....