When I was growing up, I attended a Southern Baptist church, and the concept of taking one's children to church with you was a non-issue. You loaded up in the car, dropped the babies in the nursery, and your older kids either went to children's church or sat quietly in the service.
Little did I know I was giving this up when I became Catholic (not that it would have made a difference in my decision)
If you ever visit a Catholic church, you will notice the many, many children sitting in Mass with their parents. Small babies, toddlers, teenagers, you name it, and let me be the first to say that making church a family affair is a wonderful thing. How else are your children going to not only understand, but experience what takes place during a Mass if they are not allowed in the room with mom and dad? The sacrifice of the Mass is for all Catholics, big and small.
We have 2 very small boys, and what we typically do is drop the smallest one in the nursery, so we can focus on really training our older one how to behave in church (once we have that mastered, we'll tackle the other one)
The Mass at our church is typically and hour and 15 minutes, which is longer than most standard Masses (much to my disdain on many Sundays), and not only do you have to keep your child quiet, but you also have to teach them to kneel with you at the appropriate times, pray with you at the appropriate times, walk quietly in the communion line with you, the list goes on and on.
It's not a "set them and forget them" sort of thing. There is activity, there is movement that your child will always be involved in.
I tell you all this, to describe our experience in Mass yesterday. The nursery was closed because the babysitter couldn't get there due to bad weather, so we had to tag team a 1 year old, and soon to be 3 year old.
The 1 year old likes to scream, and when you "shush" him, he screams even louder. Believe it or not, this could be distracting to some people during church.
Between Michael and I, we had to take our children outside 3 or 4 times. I left Mass with a giant scratch on my face from my youngest's fingernails. I was defeated. Again.
I didn't sing any songs, I didn't absorb any words of guidance from Father Rick's homily.
Many might wonder, what was the point of that? Why take your children to church at all if you yourself don't get anything out of it?
Well, here is what I think I learned yesterday when I was grasping for clarity myself.
We take our children to church every Sunday to instill that discipline in them.
When that becomes part of their routine, they can then begin to understand the beauty of what is actually going in in Mass.
As for me, I may never sing another song or actually get to pay attention to another homily for the next 20 years, and as sad as this makes me, as long as I am there, I am getting what I need. Because what I need, the reason for the Mass, is communion. The Eucharist, as we call it.
As a Catholic, I believe that when I receive communion, it the body and blood of Jesus Christ. It's not a symbol or a remembrance, it is THE. God is physically with me and in me and coursing through my veins. So even if I have to be tortured by my children for an hour before receiving Him, I see that as my cross to bear and will do it willingly. And my children see that I am willing to be beaten down (literally) every Sunday to receive His body and blood. They see that it is worth it to me. If I was going to church simply to say hi to my friends and get the warm fuzzies from a good message, I can't say that would be worth it to me. THE ONLY thing I would put up with an hour of "control your children" stares and humbly taking the walk of shame outside to put my 3 year old in time out for is HIM.
Although, because I feel that I need that one-on-one time with the Holy Spirit, I have to search for ways to personally connect with God during the week, since I don't get that personal connection on Sunday.
I go to Eucharistic Adoration every other week. This doesn't sound like a lot, but Michael and I have to take turns and that's about as often as we can manage right now.
For those of you that don't know, Eucharistic Adoration is a beautiful tradition in the Catholic Church in which a consecrated host (a communion host that has been consecrated, and is now the true body of Jesus) is placed on display and left out for people to come and pray before it and sit in the presence of God as they please. It is truly the most peaceful place I could ever hope to be, besides heaven itself.
I am trying to incorporate The Liturgy of the Hours into my daily routine. This is just a series of daily prayers and bible readings that are read by Catholics all around the world at certain hours of the day, everyday, so if you read them according to schedule, you are guaranteed to be joining an army of fellow believers in unified prayer.
So I'm going to keep on getting nothing out of church for the sake of my children, but when it's all said and done, I am getting all that I need, and my children get to watch that happen every week.
